Adventures in Sleep Study Land, Part 2

So, I checked out my room visibly and found it not to be chamber of horrors. The TV worked and had a good picture, although putting it in sleep mode was a manual rather than remotely performed action (it pays to be tall when you need to reset the TV bolted high on the wall). Then, the big test -- the bed. I flopped down and then back. Okay, I might have been wrong 'cause this thing seems to have all the comfort of the board that they stretched victims out on the rack on. You know, that torture device from the Middle Ages that Gomez Addams used to relieve his back problems with? Never mind. Anyway, this was no regular hospital bed mattress. This was an orthopedic extra firm slab of fabric, foam and springs and clearly not the same as the one at home that sagged in all the right places. Still, it could be worse -- I could be in a real hospital bed trying to sleep with all the gadgets on. Adventure, adventure, keep thinking adventure.

I got changed for bed, as it was close to the time I normally go to sleep anyway, and started filling out the pre-study sleep questionnaire. When do you go to bed, when do you wake, how often do you wake, do you fall asleep at inappropriate times, etc. I got a sense of déjà vu, as this was a shorter version of the questionnaire I filled out before I even set foot in the place. Still, there had to be a reason other than keeping me occupied while Patient #1 was getting wired for sound and monitor blips that I was given this little activity.

As I was sitting back on my rock -- I mean bed watching TV, Amy came in to get me and bring me over the room where all the electrodes and wires are placed for the study. Ah, the real adventure begins. Electrodes on the chest to monitor the heart, an electrode under the chin for some reason that I forgot to ask about, electrodes running down the sweat pantlegs and attached to the calves to monitor leg movements, electrodes all over the head to monitor brain wave patterns (attached with gritty gluey stuff guaranteed to stay on all night and requiring two shampoos to get rid of completely), and two soft but snug straps across chest and abdomen to monitor breathing. This was all attached to one control box with shoulder strap to carry it back to the room. Once in bed and semi-snuggied in, the control box was connected to the other control box. Then two, count 'em two, nasal prong thingees (two nasal cannulas for those in the know) to monitor air movement in and out were placed, and finally, my second finger got to wear a monitor to measure the level of oxygen in my blood. Très chic and I get to try and sleep with it, too.

All this done, Amy left the room, but wasn't leaving me to sleep just yet. There was the final calibration left to do. This involved me doing some mild bed calisthenics on command for both camera and monitors -- blink, stare at the ceiling, chew, deep breathe, pooch out my belly and suck it back in, lift my legs and point my toes. All that done, intercom and camera on for the night, the sleep study had begun. Now all I had to do was sleep.

Part 3