On Moving Out and On, Part II

What was I thinking?

I keep hearing myself say this – mostly silently, but not always – as I continue to sort through things.  Two months after the move and it has become something of a mantra.

The final homeowner of a three-bedroom family home with 58 years of accumulated stuff, I found paring things down to fit in a kitchen/eating area, bedroom, bathroom, living room and two small closets a challenge, to say the least.  I’m slowly learning, but it hasn’t been and still ain’t, a lesson easily learned.

There was stuff I brought with me thinking I would need it, and 98% of the time, I was right.  Most were necessities and they filled the available space fairly quickly.

There was stuff I brought with me thinking I might need it, and 90% of the time, I was wrong.  Fortunately, would need ruled out over might need quite a bit before the moving of stuff even began, so there wasn’t much of might need items to contend with.  The realization of having to physically move it myself also put a damper on the hauling of the might needs. This is one of the areas that the mantra has come into play, and that 90% of stuff has been donated, with a little bit of it trashed. 

There were exceptions, of course.  I brought a sewing machine with me.  I rarely sew anymore, but I might need it to mend something.  Its usage will change in the near future, as I’ll be sewing curtains for  windows (light filtering Venetian blinds don’t cut the glare of the streetlight into my bedroom at night) and my  balcony door that gives me such a gorgeous view (presently covered with a piece of fabric).  There’s that extra layer of cold air blocking that curtains and drapes give come wintertime, of course.  However, my neighbors and the folks on the street below also don’t need to see me going through my daily routines and/or inadequately clothed for public viewing.  The middle-aged fat girl is still a little self-conscious about such things.

I might also need the small generator I brought with me.  I had offers to buy it before and after I moved and my response was always the same – “Oh, hell, no!”  Back in better financial days and three days before Tropical Storm Irene meandered through in 2011, I bought one of the few generators left in a 50-mile radius.  I had to travel 25 miles to get it and it was worth the money and traveling time for that weather event and over the years since then.  It doesn’t power much, but it doesn’t have to.  It has a special storage place and is still lovingly maintained.  It is the piece of might need stuff that I always hope I never need, but will always be glad I have on hand.

There was stuff I brought with me that was for family.  Not too much, ‘cause family have their own stuff to contend with and don’t want/need more.  I’ve been lax about sending it on, mostly because I keep forgetting to find boxes to ship it.  There’s also the fear of the shipping costs on what is my fairly tight budget.  However, those items will go before the leaves drop.  I already made that promise to myself.

Then, there was stuff I brought with me to donate.  I have been good about following through on this.  Most items meant for donation have been donated.  Goodwill, Salvation Army, a local church and a local library have all been recipients of items no longer of use to me which could be of use to someone else.  Notice I said most of the stuff – it’s an ongoing process.  I keep finding more as my mantra gets used.

I haven’t always been successful in my attempts to give stuff away.  One piece in particular was earmarked for someone from the git-go.  I brought a non-motorized push mower in pristine condition with me to give – GIVE, FREE, NO COST, GRATIS – to someone who said they wanted it.  After being reminded for two weeks that I saved it just for them and it was taking up space in my hall closet that I desperately needed, they back-peddled and said, “Nah, that’s okay, I don’t need it.”  I now have a non-motorized lawn mower in pristine condition which I’ve used as a doorstop a couple of times over the last two months, but it otherwise has no real purpose and needs to find a new home with someone else.  Oh, wait – I need to find it a home with someone else. 

On that note, I end this entry.  It leaves one last topic of this series, and it’s the one which the mantra has trouble breaking through – the stuff kept for emotional reasons.  That'll be the next entry and will be posted sooner rather than later this time, as it’s almost finished now. 

I figured I’d give you a break.

On Moving Out and On, Part 1

For those who aren’t in my inner circle, which most of the internet isn’t (sorry, Folks), I sold my home of 58 of my 60 years on the planet back in January.  It was too big for one person, with or without cats unless you own a horde (I don’t), and had become too hard to upkeep both physically and financially.  I was actually a month away from losing it to the county for unpaid taxes when I sold it.  Yeah, not a great couple of years income-wise prior to that moment.

I was given a very generous six months to find someplace else to live as well as decide on what I was keeping, what I was donating and what I was trashing.  However, I hit the huge stumbling block of finding someplace to live.  Because I remained in the family home, I was never exposed to the process before.  Got a five month course in searching, applying and being rejected for apartments and cottages in my price range that had at least ten other people applying for them at the same time.  Wow – it’s a lot like job hunting, isn’t it? 

As with the sale of the house, I was down to the wire in finding somewhere to live that would take me and my small pride of felines who were used to an indoor/outdoor existence.  But, with the help of the new owner of what was my home, I found a place – two doors down from where I was living.  I wasn’t aware that my neighbor’s upstairs apartment was available, so I didn’t ask.  Reasonable rent for a reasonably sized one-bedroom apartment.  Done.  Now for the hard parts. 

I’m going to skip the whole transitioning the cats to the new place.  Those who have cats as pets know it’s less than fun to move them from one place to another.  I was fortunate in that I didn’t have to drive them there howling, although one I walked one down in a carrier howling all the way because I figured it was the only way she’d get the message.  The rest just followed “mommy” – and the food.

The real first hard part was deciding what I was going to take, knowing that anything left after the physical possession date was considered abandoned and the new owner of the house could do as they wished with it.  Some things I took because they were necessary for existence and comfort.  Some of what I took was earmarked to go elsewhere.  But, a lot of it fell into the no-man’s-land of “I don’t know.”  Did I need it or was I just holding onto it out of emotional attachment?  It didn’t matter.  I took as much as I could and would deal with the consequence of all those decisions later. 

Despite multiple car trips and stuff flowing into the apartment like water, there was still a lot left behind at the house and most of it ended up in the dumpster.  There were things thrown in that I never would have trashed.  But perhaps, that was part of the problem.  The new owner could let go of these things, seeing their lack of value without a lot of time and effort put into them, time and effort that could be better focused elsewhere.

Which brings me to the second hard part, which I will delve into in Part 2.

And in My Return Entry, I Have Only This to Say ...

Soup this good just has to be summer.

Forgive me, Campbell's Soup Company.  It is one of my favorite sayings when the weather gets this warm and humid in my native New York.

Yeah, yeah, I know – almost a year since the last entry.  It's been long and hard for me during that time.  Lost a job, almost lost my house to unpaid taxes, but sold it and moved out of what was my home of 58 years, etc.  There's more yada, yada, yada to go with that, but I won't bore you with more tidbits.  I'm not terribly inspired to write when things are not at their best.  There was a time when I was, a diversion from the bleak.  Not really into that anymore.

But now, things are better and I'm back.  Deal with it like I have to deal with this crappy weather that costs me sleep.

Mmph – coffee.

Countdown to Spring - The Final Entry

Well, much as I don't think the snow got the memo, it is officially Spring.  It came in at 6:29 AM EDT.  I stood at my front door staring out at the developing light of dawn on the horizon and wished the world a happy spring as the seasons changed.

While parts of the country won't see the green grass, flower beds and gardens for a while yet, rest assured, they're all still under there just biding their time.  Of course, if you're impatient like me, you'll go dig 'em out.

So once more, this countdown series comes to an end.  I'd like to thank those who follow this blog, if only during this time.  I hope it made you smile, even if you thought it was silly.

Now, get out there, Folks, and enjoy this season.  Defy winter's defiance in leaving if it's persistent.  The reawakening of life has begun again, including within ourselves.  Don't waste it.

Spring has sprung.

Countdown to Spring - The Last Day of Winter (Sort of)

For those who have read this inane series before, you know I normally take a walk on the final day of winter and report on all the signs of spring that I can.  However, despite the beautiful weather outside just made for that purpose, I'm not up to it today.  Probably all that damned shoveling.

The snow pack has decreased, but it's going to be a a while before brown and green replace white for the ground color here in uptstate New York.  But, spring is still letting us know it's on its way in the form of buds on trees and birds singing to claim their place, among other little hints.

We'll have chilly temperatures and even some single digits at night on Wednesday, but after that, well, it could very well be the real thing.

You know ...

Only 1 day until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - You Can't Keep a Good Crocus Down

My covering the patches of crocus and snowdrops paid off.  Yesterday, I came home to both having flowers in fully recovered bloom.  The deep purples and yellows of the crocus were especially nice.  The sunny day and temperatures in the upper 40s also extended the area of non-snow around each patch by a little bit.  I haven't really noticed a decrease in the snow depth yet, but it's likely happening.

Never did get around to shoveling that last bit of snow from the side yard walkway to the road yesterday.  I needed a break from that activity.

Only 2 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - The End is in Sight

Well, the end of winter, to be sure.  But what I'm really talking about is the end of my shoveling out from our one and only nor'easter two days ago.

I watched another musher come into Nome from the Iditarod race (by the way, it was about 3 AM and -14°F in Nome at the time), then got dressed and headed out.  I figured I was going to get maybe another 15 feet cleared before ending it.  Nope, I got about 30 feet of walkway cleared in a fairly short time.  I got to the thick crusty stuff left by the plow and decided to stop.  That was about 8 feet from the road.  Some would continue, but I was good with it.  I am a 59-year-old fat and slightly physically deconditioned old broad and I have no desire to visit the emergency room due to a shoveling expedition that isn't critical for today.

However, before I called it quits, I decided it was time to remove the bin I put over the snowdrops and let them catch some rays.  I started to shovel toward the flower patch, but my hands were cold and I really was getting tired, so I walked through the snow to the green bin (about 15 feet), then shoveled around it, roughly shoveled back out to the walkway, then came back and took the lid off the snowdrops.  They didn't look too bad.  I came back in the house for a few minutes after that to let my fingers warm up and catch my breath, then went back outside and took the lid off the crocuses as well.  They looked a bit bedraggled, but still alive and kicking.  In both cases, covering them created an area of ground to be warmed sooner rather than later, promoting melting.  It’s that much less white and also helping to decrease the snow pack a little faster.  

My jeans are presently hanging in the bathroom, my shoes back up against the radiator.  I'm snuggy inside and having my second cup of coffee, having accomplished more than I expected I was going to this morning.  I may or may not finish when I get home this evening from the road inward – we’ll see how I feel.  

Gotta say, though, it was beautiful out there – blue, almost cloudless sky, temperature around freezing.  The wind was still kicking a bit, but it felt good as I was shoveling.  Birds are singing territorial songs now, and as I looked around, I saw buds on trees and bushes getting ready to come out of their dormancy.  So, much as it might not look it a lot right now, the end of this winter solstice season is in sight, and it can't come soon enough.

Only 4 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - The Day After and Still Digging Out.

I am tired of shoveling.  Last night, I dug out to and around the car.  I removed most of the snow from the car, which looked like massive snowdrift.  I dug through the snowplow-created ridge at the road at one spot.  That was partly a psychological need.  It was like breaking through a barrier back to normalcy.  I even dug from the road to one of the cat doors, not that furry feline beasts wanted to go outside.  I also started down toward the basement door and quit for the night once I got there.  My fingers were cold, my feet were cold, and I was just plain pooped.

This morning, I dug out to the road enough to get the car out this morning, dug to grass and ground to the kitchen cat door, then cut down into the side yard a bit more.    Showered, breakfast, then went to work.  The roads were intermittently crappy.  One of the streets I have to travel is actually a hill with a moderately steep incline.  Going up wasn’t bad, as it was clear to pavement.   Going down was still snow-covered.  I got in about 15 minutes late, but I was in good company as just about everybody else was late as well.  

Heading home, the roads were better, but that hill I came up looked exactly the same as when I went to work.  I drove down the still snow-covered side, but the driver behind me pulled over onto the cleared side to drive down to almost the bottom before pulling back into the proper lane.  Markedly illegal, potentially dangerous if someone pulled out from a side street, but better driving conditions.  I don’t have the chutzpah to try that because I’m inevitably the one who gets caught.

When I got home, I drove up like I was going to pull in, but rolled back only enough to get an idea of the minimum I had to shovel to park in my spot.  I parked, then shoveled more than enough to get the car off the road.  I also cleared the stairs into the side yard more, the area in front of the fuel tank, then started to work down the sidewalk toward the road.  I got maybe about three yards into that when I called it quits for the day.  I wasn’t as winded this time, but my muscles were still screaming and I was still tired afterward.  I need to crash now.  Shower can wait until morning, probably after I tackle some more shoveling.  

The rest of the walkway will likely not get done tomorrow.  It's probably going to take into the weekend before I get through the side yard to the road.  I am so happy that they delivered the heating fuel Monday night.

Did I mention we got about 18" of snow, with drifts up to three feet?  Ewwww.

Only 5 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - When it Sounds Like a Train

Our little nor'easter started around 2 this morning.  The ground was covered with about an inch of snow at 3 when I woke.  There was no wind at that point.  I went outside and allowed the plastic "curtain" to fall across the south side of the porch.  The plan was for it to minimize the amount of snow clearing I'd have to do to just get out my front door.  Yeah, well ...

I can't get an exact measurement because of the blowing and drifting that's now going on, but eyeballing it based on known heights of things and how much they're covered, I'm going to go out on the proverbial limb and say it's more than a foot of snow so far.  We've got at least another eight hours of storm time to go, too.  Wheeeee (not).

Then, there's that wind.  They forecasted a constant 10 mph wind and they weren't exaggerating.  It periodically picks up and blows at 20 and sometimes as high as 40 mph.  When that happens, it sounds a lot like when the train passes through about an eighth-mile from where I live.  It's that loud and sustained.

As far as my porch, well, the plastic sort of works.  It keeps snow from blowing in from the south.  There is also a barrier on the north side of the porch as well. Under normal snowy conditions, that would do the job and there would be minimal accumulation on my roof-covered porch.  But, this is a classic coastal storm, with the wind coming in from the north and east, so there is snow piling up against the front door.  I've been sweeping and shoveling the porch and first step almost hourly.  Interesting, the north side of that first step is bare, as is the back of my car which is parked close to the porch.  The hood of my car, on the other hand, is lost in a more than two-feet thick snow drift.

The snowplows have been through twice so far since this started.  I haven't even tried to deal with the ridge they left, but I can tell you it was about three feet high and about two feet in depth last time I looked.  I can only imagine what it's going to look like on the final plow-through at the end of the storm.  Yeah, there's my cardiac workout sorted for maybe tonight, but probably tomorrow morning.

Most places were closed today, including both my employers.  Will they be closed again tomorrow?  Hard to say, but given the snowfall amounts so far, I wouldn't be surprised.  I also sort of hope so, as I don't think I'm going to feel much like working after I get done shoveling.

Just think – in a month, this will likely be just a memory, and all the spring colors will be here and flourishing like it never happened.  However, come March 20th, we'll still be looking at whitened ground and snow pushed up into mountains to make way for cars and people and asking ourselves, "This is Spring?"

Only 6 more days until then.

Countdown to Spring - Priorities

Well, it's official.  I'm off from work on Tuesday.  Almost all the school districts in my area have closed in anticipation of our snowstorm tomorrow.  That wasn't a surprise.  What was a bit of a pleasant shock was the county executive closing county offices and ordering all non-emergency staff to stay home, with other local government offices following suit.  This is a rare decision, to be sure.  But, then, this storm event is worth the caution.

This is a classic nor'easter, creating blizzard conditions, snow totals of at least – AT LEAST – 12 inches, and winds 10-20 mph with gusts as high as 40 as the storm makes its way up the eastern seaboard.  Usually when these storms occur, northern and western parts of New York get spared significant snowfall.  Not this time.  They may not get the 12+ totals, but they'll still come close to having one foot of snow on the ground when it's all said and done.  Even places that don't normally see significant snow at all – Washington, DC, for example – will be digging out with the rest of us on Wednesday.  Yup, it's a biggie.

I'm as prepared as I'm going to be for this.  My kerosene heater and little generator are ready.  I put the plastic on the south side of my porch again.  It got blown off by the power killer cold front that passed through two Saturdays ago.  I put it back up to minimize the amount of shoveling I'd have to do of my porch just to open the front door.

I have adequate food, water, flashlights and batteries.  I also have chocolate, popcorn and videos.  Priorities.

I've covered as much of the patches of crocus and snowdrops as I could with containers weighted down just in case a gust of wind works to remove them.  I realize they've managed to survive torrential rain, high winds, single digit temperatures and deer invasion without help from me.  But a foot of snow is a bit much to endure and I'm not just talking the flowers survival, either.  I'm sure I'm going to need to see something other than white ground out there in the days ahead.

Again, priorities.

See y'all on the other side of this end-of-winter beastie.

Only 7 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - Oh Dear

While there is still some disagreement on how much and how long, the weather services are starting to converge on the 8-12" range of snowfall for my area.  It's 8-12" more than I was looking for at this time in March, but there you are.

Hard to say whether schools will close Monday night or actually wait until the morning to decide.  But, unless this storm takes a serious jog off its predicted path and heads out to sea instead of up the coast, I'm 99.9% certain I'm having Tuesday off from work.  I don't get paid, unfortunately, but I also don't have to venture out into crappy weather, either.

Only 8 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - A Late Winter Ritual

It's been an uneventful, chilly, windy day.  We're still waiting for the Tuesday weather forecast to firm up into something which screams "Day Off from Work" for me (I work for a school district part-time).

Aside from keeping warm and listening to the boiler going through the dollars of fuel oil I put in just last Wednesday, it's been quiet.  So, I will take this opportunity to do what so many others are doing as well, namely reminding those who must suffer through observe Daylight Savings Time to turn their clocks ahead one hour so that on Sunday, you will have lost an hour of sleep, you will wake to the sun not necessarily being up yet and the sun being in your eyes for an extra hour at the end of the day.  I'm not a fan of DST and didn't like it when they moved it earlier and made it last longer.  Frankly, I don't really see how it benefits our 24/7 civilization anymore.  I've been told that even in this day, it's still more energy efficient with it than without it.  However, I have yet to see the stats to back that up.

Anyway, I've done my duty and reminded.  I've also turned ahead all the clocks in my life that need that manual move except my car's.  If you normally have a leisurely Sunday, carry on in doing so and ignore the clock for the one hour that says its 7 AM when you know darn well it's still 6.  I know I will.

Only 9 more days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - A Taste of Things to Come (Maybe)

It started snowing just before sunrise this morning and overstayed its welcome by continuing until around 1 PM.  Depending on where you lived, you either got 1-2" or 4-6", so I guess all the weather forecast services were right in a way.
We got 2-3" locally, but the roads stayed fairly clear.  It got sunny, windy, and chillier after it finally stopped.  So begins our descent back into colder weather.
And then ...

Ah, yes.  Something we haven't seen in a while.  The potential for a significant mid-March nor'easter this coming Tuesday.  Once again, depending on the weather service, the forecasts run between 4-6" and 8-12" or more of snowfall.  It all depends on how the storm develops and tracks, they say, and they'll know more once we get to Sunday and/or Monday.  Like a free lunch, there's no such thing as a really accurate weather forecast more than 24 hours ahead.

Yesterday, I saw my first robin of the season.  Happily bob-bob-bobbin' along in search of food, he had bare ground to work with yesterday.  He's going to be hard-pressed to find any of that for a while.

Only 10 more days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - Waiting for Winter to Return

It's presently in the upper 40s, but the cold front is heading toward us as I type this.  We'll drop into the 30s tonight, then 20s tomorrow, 10s tomorrow night, with a repeat of 20s and 10s through Sunday.  It'll be in the 30s during the day after that, but the warmer weather that we've come to know and sort of appreciate won't be back until late next week.

Then, let's talk snow.  The weather forecasting services can't seem to come to an agreement as to how much we're supposed to get.  I mentioned that yesterday.  However, the snow range is now up to 3-6" instead of 2-4" at its high end.  Still not bad, but we're not done.  Next Tuesday is a snow event of unknown amounts.  It could be an inch, it could be 6-10".

I knew there was a reason I didn't put the snow shovel away.  Or my winter coat.  Or gloves.  Or etc.

Only 11 more days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - Repeat Performance

Just when we thought last weekend was it for the chilly weather, along comes this weekend with the promise of similarly brisk 10s and 20s, with the added bonus of a little snow on Friday.  Depending on which forecast you follow, we're expecting a trace to 1", 1-3" or 2-4" of snow.

How about none?  None is good, too.

Some of the crocuses and snowdrops managed to survive both the cold snap and the deer dinnertime, and the ones that hadn't even come up yet are also making an appearance.  I guess some of them knew February was way too early to be putting on their spring show.  I also have a a crop crocuses which generally show up about a month after the first group.  Should be interesting to see when they emerge in what's been a oddly warm season.  Stay tuned.

Only 12 more days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring – The Short Blooming Season

The good news – we didn't get down into the single digits Saturday into Sunday as predicted, although we did manage to get down into the low 10s just before sunrise on Sunday and Monday.

The bad news – most of the snowdrops didn't survive the transition from balmy warmth to frigid chill.  Hard to say on the crocuses yet.  I'll know better tomorrow.  However, I think their demise had less to do with the weather and more to do with deer wanting a colorful salad last night.  I was hard-pressed to find any crocus buds this morning and there had been plenty ready to pop open Sunday before the temperature took its second nosedive.  Ah, well, critters gotta eat.  Thank goodness they don't like daffodils.

Only 14 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - Fuel Consumption

Heating fuel has been delivered.  It's been a little under a month since the last delivery and I've gone through about 100 gallons.  To some that may seem like a lot.  But, believe me, it's wonderfully less than normal for this house.  The cost of heating for a season has sometimes outdone property taxes for the #1 spot on the budget crunch list over the years.  The topsy-turvy warm temperatures have been a blessing with regard to the heating bill this season.  While I needed the help the of HEAP again this year, and I am incredibly grateful for that assist, I was also able to pay my own way for half my needs as well.

The next two days will be markedly chilly.  They're now saying temperatures may be in the single digits tonight.  There was a time when I might have worried about that, not because of a lack of fuel, but because I have an outdoor tank.  Anyone who has one who lives in a northern state (or country) understands my concern.  People say that the fuel freezes, but it doesn't.  Without anything to prevent it from happening when the temperatures are below freezing, regular old #2 heating oil as well as diesel become very thick, sometimes even waxy, and won't flow from the tank through the line to the boiler or furnace.  Many a service technician has worked the night through just restarting these mechanical beasts when this happens.  You might feel a lack of sympathy for these techs, considering the amount that's charged for an emergency call, especially in the wee hours of the morning.  But, just remember, they're coming out to help you in the same cold weather you're dealing with.  Yes, I really could see it from their point of view even when I was waiting for them to finish other calls that came in before mine.

Anyway, some folks deal with this problem by building insulated housing around the tank or by buying a warming device for the tank to keep the oil thin enough to flow.  Both of these methods of dealing with the problem have gotten mixed reviews from people who have chosen them.  Not financially practical for me. Others use kerosene or a 50/50 mix of heating fuel and kerosene during the winter months instead of regular heating oil.  This does work and I can attest to it.  But kerosene generally runs about 125% to 150% the cost of heating fuel and even a 50/50 mix of the two isn't exactly economical.

There are additives which can be added to heating fuel to prevent the gelling.  I tried several before I finally found one that, when used regularly from the beginning of the heating season, prevents clogged fuel lines from happening.  It's only been tested down to -7°F since I started using it several years ago, but it's supposed to handle even colder temperatures.  All I know is that it has come through for me every year and it is markedly less expensive than using kerosene.  The manufacturer, Power Service, even puts out a product which several service techs swear really does cut through cold temperature clogged lines and lets them sleep during the below freezing and subzero nights.  I've never had to use it, but I have it on hand just in case.  I don't normally endorse products in my blog, but this company's products really work when others have not.

Anyway, I'm ready for our two-day cold snap, which will be followed by 40s, 50s and 60s again starting Monday.  Much as it's still not normal, it's closer to the time when it will be normal   and that's all right by me.

Stay warm, everybody.

Only 16 more days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - The Brr is Back

Before the sun rises on Saturday morning, the temperatures will be down in the 10s.  That I expected.  However, I wasn't expecting SINGLE DIGITS Saturday into Sunday.  Weren't those supposed to happen in February, when we were getting 50s, 60s and even a few moments of 70s?  Weather like this weekend's forecast reminds me that winter has gotten old.

No, I didn't mean "cold".  It wasn't a typo, even though I'm always good for a few in every entry.

I really, truly, sincerely meant OLD.

Only 17 more days until Spring.  Hurry up.

Countdown to Spring - The First Windy Day of March

With the passage of the cold front and its associated storm, the winds were very noticeable today, gusting up to 20 MPH and beyond.  Nothing like last Saturday's little tree and power line dropper, though.  I'd get out one of my kites, but I haven't had the time lately to even consider kite-flying.

The temperatures sank from the really nice 62°F yesterday evening to 42°F now and, of course, tonight's temperatures are going to be more like they should be for early March in my area.  The weekend, as promised, will barely get out of the 20s during the day and is promised to be in the 10s at night.  It's not forecast to stay at that level of chill for very long, but long enough to require reluctant return to wearing a winter coat again.

Yes, I'm looking forward to the vernal equinox – can you tell?

Only 18 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - Oh, Look - On the Horizon - It's WINTER (Again)

Did I say it or did I say it?  Tonight will see the temperature in my area drop from the low 60s where it is now at around 7 PM into the 40s tonight and then continue to drop during the day tomorrow.  By this weekend, 20s and 30s during the day and 10s at night will be back.  Briefly, but those chilly temps will remind us that this solstice is not over.

March is by no means a safe month.  Winter has been known to make its presence known up to the last official day of its seasonal existence and beyond. It's snowed in April and even once or twice in May here.  Frost is frequent and has ruined the plans of many an overzealous and impatient gardener even after the date regarded as safe for planting.

So enjoy those spring flowers which have prematurely bloomed.  Some of them don't do well once temps are below the freezing point.  But take joy in the fact that they're here now and there will be others to take their place soon.

Now, I wonder what my heating fuel situation is?

Only 19 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - Forsythia?

Yes, forsythia, although not in my yard yet.  However, I've seen it in bloom in other locations.  It doesn't help that it was in the 60s again today and likely will be tomorrow until the next cold front passes through.  Hoping to not have a repeat of Saturday's wild weather tomorrow.

Maybe with the beginning of March, winter will be reminded that there's still time for it to return before getting kicked out until December.  Time will tell.

Only 20 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - The Lost Weekend

No, no, not that kind of lost weekend.  It was a weekend lost due to lack ability to blog for this series.  Okay, yeah, boring.  But, so was my weekend without electricity.

It started Saturday afternoon.  As I watched the cold front approach from the west, I knew the weather was going to change abruptly and then be back to normal.  Even the National Weather Service only had us in a Severe Thunderstorm Watch area.  Nothing too bad to worry about, right?

It was breezy most of the afternoon, but it was still unseasonably warm in the mid-60s and nice.  It started to cloud up around 5 and around 6:30, it started to rain.  Nothing major, a light rain.  Surprisingly light, given the radar views of what was coming.

Within five minutes, the light rain turned into a deluge and was accompanied by winds that likely hit at least 70 miles per hour, if I remember my Beaufort scale indicators correctly.  The wind didn't last long, but between it, the rain, and the frequent lightning, the power went out within two minutes of the storm hitting.  No electricity between 6:30 PM Saturday and 12:30 this afternoon.  Ye-hah.

I was fortunate in that I had a kerosene heater to keep at least one room warm, although the rest of the house went a little ice-boxy as the temperatures dropped off into the 30s outside and low 40s inside (yes, I checked).  I was also fortunate in that I had a small generator, something I had bought just before Tropical Storm Irene hit the area a few years ago.  As a result of my little power-maker, my fridge stayed cold, although it likely would have anyway given the indoor conditions.  I also had a light, radio, cell phone charger and I even made coffee on Sunday morning.  The generator wasn't too happy with the coffeemaker's extra load, so on Monday, I made coffee by heating water on the kerosene heater and pouring it through the coffee in the filter – not bad.

I even had use of my laptop.  What I didn't have was internet access.  Network was down and my cell phone is so old, it can't pass the SSL protocols anymore.   I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss internet access, but I didn't go into withdrawal like I know some do.  I probably would have been in worse shape if I didn't have the laptop available, though.  Okay, so it's a lower level of tech addiction – sue me.  However, I didn't run the generator 24/7, so even the laptop wasn't available all the time.  I didn't feel like reading.  I didn't feel like writing, either.  I didn't feel doing much of anything beyond staring at the walls and checking with the power company's recorded message of when the power might be coming back on.  Self-induced boredom – it ain't pretty.

When the power finally came back on, I wasn't here.  The power company, after telling us the power would be restored at noon today, changed their message to inform those in the affected area that power wouldn't be restored until 6 PM.  ARGH!  While I knew I had enough kerosene to continue heating, I knew I didn't have enough gasoline for the generator, so I headed out to buy more gas.  While I was out in the great wide world, I met a fellow resident of the area who said that the power came back on about ten minutes ago, about the time I was pulling out of the driveway.  So, I came home, re-plugged in the stuff which had been connected to the generator, turned off the kerosene heater, and then did what I really needed to do – TAKE A SHOWER!  After that, I headed for work for the last three hours of the workday and then returned home.

So, that's the story of my lost weekend due to the passage of a cold front through the area.  Rather not have a repeat performance of the event anytime soon, thank you.  The temperatures are now down in the 30s and 40s again, normal for this time of year.  The crocuses and snowdrops managed to survive and were open to the warmth of the sun today like normal, although we've already established that it's not normal for them to be blooming here this time of year.  But life in general has returned to late winter normalcy.  Mixed feelings about that.

Only 21 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - But Wait, There's More

As we await the passage of a cold front which, after a lot of wind, a dowsing of rain and possibly even some thunder, temperatures will be returning to average for this time of year.  There goes that heating bill savings time.

That being said, I discovered my snowdrops are now up and starting to bloom, and the cream-colored crocuses are coming up along with what is now 20 purple crocuses.  Depending on how much rain we're supposed to get, I may cover the flowers until the downpour passes.  Crocuses and snowdrops do better with snow than they do with a deluge of rain.  They may be early, but I'd really like to enjoy the color for longer than the day or two they've been up.

Only 23 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - Well, It's Not the First Time

Many years ago, I planted a small patch of crocuses in a small rock crevice near the front of my house.  I planted light and dark purple, white, yellow and cream colored ones.  While the majority tend to bloom around the same time, the light purple ones have their own earlier timetable, opening their petals to the sun about a week or so before the rest.

Guess what was up this morning?

As I headed out to my car to go to work this morning, I looked down into that crevice and saw five purple crocuses which were maybe about a day from coming into bloom.  When I got home from work, the total was now ten.  Ten purple little buds ready to open up because it's been warm enough these last couple of weeks to wake them and convince them that it's time.

It's not the first time it's happened.  Since I planted this patch back in the 1990s, it's happened about three times, with one time when they were all in bloom and gorgeous in January.  There were also roses in bloom near the hospital in December where I worked at the time.  That was a very topsy-turvy winter temperature season.

My little purple crocuses might be in for a surprise come Sunday, when temperatures will drop back into a more normal range.  But they won't likely be shocked to the point of dying back, either.  Crocuses are a hardy breed of bloom.

And there's hope for a normal spring start yet.  My snowdrops are still snoozing.

Only 24 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - Back to Brown Ground

Well, not completely.  There are still hills of snow left by plows.  But, they were mountains previously.  Now they're back down to normal human height and will further diminish tomorrow and Saturday as well.  But for the most part, our snow is 90-95% gone locally.

We managed to break the record high temperature for this day locally by about 5°F.  It was 74°F at its best today.  Yes, yes, we all know it's wrong for New York and every other place along the eastern seaboard north of Florida, and it fed the wave of spring fever that normally starts to develop this time of year, anyway.  It's also feeding allergies, colds, etc.

I am not unaffected psychologically by this weather.  Like so many others, blue skies and warm days bring out the happy "ahhh" in all of us.  I can't help but enjoy not having to bundle up so I won't freeze going out to my car to start it in the morning, and to not hear my furnace come on is silent music to my ears.

However, I warn again, don't get used to it.  The return to normal for this time of year temperatures is coming.  It may not stick around that long, but arctic air and winter weather is still out there with our names on it.  Just because it feels like spring doesn't mean that Pennsylvania woodchuck, Punxsutawney Phil, was entirely wrong.

Only 25 days until Spring.

(Yeah, yeah, I know - I missed a day)

Countdown to Spring - Expecting to Get the Unexpected?

Today was a day that didn't get out of the low to mid 40s.  It still felt warm to me.  I didn't wear my winter jacket, although I did take it with me and I wore a wool blazer in its place for the day.  When I got back to work this afternoon, though, I heard someone remark that they expected that it was nice out and it was still cold.  It must be in the perspective.  Cold to me is below freezing (32°F/0°C) and it's not because I have an extra layer of body insulation (fat), either.

Are we starting to get jaded by this warming trend?  Are we beginning to expect these really nice temps will continue right through until Spring?  I sincerely hope not.  While it might happen, we've also had teens and single digits in March and even early April and it hasn't always been after a brutal February, either.

This past week and for what looks like the rest of this month in my area, we're going to have some very un-February temperatures – 40s, 50s, and 60s with one day maybe even hitting 70°F.  Once again, I won't get into the global warming versus normal variant debate.  I also won't get into the downside of having such nice weather showing up this early, either, at least not yet.

All I'm going to say is don't get used to it.

Only 27 more days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - The Gentle Sound of Chainsaws

For readers of this blog who I don't regularly chat with, and there are a few, I recently sold my home.  It was the family home since the late 1950s and it had become too much for me to handle both physically and financially.  The new owner is a very nice person and has been very thoughtful in his approach to assessing everything that needs to be done once I move out.

Given the nice weather we're presently experiencing, though, he decided that it would be a good couple of days to cut down dead trees and overgrown areas on the property.  So, the air has been filled with the brrrrrrrrrrrt of well-tuned chainsaws, with clearing of growth that won't be going green come springtime.

The difference is stark.  It looks practically naked out in the front yard, which is mostly hill, anyway.  There was a time when I would have missed having that lushness come summertime.  The last couple of years, though, not so much.

I asked the new owner to leave two things for a while yet.  One is a mulberry tree which is as old, if not older, than I am.  I watched it grow from a bush as a child to where it now towers over the street.  I don't want to be present when they take it down.  He agreed to that request, in part because it does tower over the street and no matter which way it might fall, it will take out wires.  It's likely going to have to be professionally taken down.

The other request I made was for something much smaller.  There is a bush of unknown species which grows just outside the south window of my main room. Both my mother and I used to watch it come into leaf in March.  It was a harbinger of spring, starting early because of its location and restarting its green coat about the same time my crocuses and snowdrops were in bloom.  It will likely get cut back later on.  But for the time being, I just want to enjoy it one more time.

Only 28 days until spring.

Countdown to Spring - March in February

Okay, so 62°F in New York on the 19th of February is not normal.  Whether you want to chalk it up to global warming or a normal variant that's happened in previous years going back further than somebody's been keeping weather statistics, I don't care.  It's just sunny, breezy and nice.

My furnace has a second day of only needing to come on to maintain its own temperature range rather than the whole house.  I wore a winter jacket this morning to do shopping because it was still chilly around 7 AM.  This afternoon, though, I went outside without jacket or sweater and didn't feel like I needed the extra layers.

Speaking of extra layers, there's markedly more brown and green ground showing today than even end of day yesterday.  Snow is melting very rapidly in these markedly above freezing temperatures.  I even saw leaves from my crocuses are up about an inch.  No, I don't believe they're going to bloom early.  That only happened once in all the years the crocuses have been there and it was more than 10 years ago.

This week, we're supposed to be in the 40s during the day, 20s to 30s at night,  with one or two days in the 50s again.  It's a wonderful way to just about finish out February in my book.

Only 29 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - Ahhhhhhhhhh

It hit 54°F today.  For some, that's chilly for this time of year. For this New Yorker, it was bliss.  I got to wear a light sweater for the first time since early November.  I cleaned off my porch of all the debris that winter had blown onto it and rearranged things on it to look more like the time of year the weather was imitating.  This evening, I made tea and went out on the porch to have it; it was still 48°F at 7 PM and I was going to enjoy it.  Even the cats ventured outside with me.

There's one more day of temperatures in the 50s before we go back into the 40s.  Nothing wrong with 40s, either.  But 50s do more for the winter-weary soul.

Only 30 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - That Touch of Things to Come

It's not fooling me.  I know we're still in mid-February territory and the return to frigid cold and oodles of white, wet winter weather shall remain a possibility to be prepared for a while yet.

Still, we're expecting temperatures into the 50s over this Presidents' Day weekend and I am looking forward to it.  I'll get to watch as the mountains of snow that were built up by snowplows over the last two storms are slowly eroded by warm sun.  Not that they'll disappear, but I'll take any decrease in them I can get.  For two days, I won't have to bundle up to go outside, won't have to wait for the car to warm up in the morning, and won't have to listen to my furnace come on and worry about how many gallons of heating oil I'm going through.

Makes me smile to think about it.

Only 31 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - Wind Chilly

I know there are going to days when the wind blows harder in the coming days ahead.  After all, March is only 13 days away.  But, it's not fair when I decide to wear a pullover sweater instead of a jacket to work because it's sunny and relatively warm at 42°F, with barely a breeze as I leave home and then it's 31°F and the wind's whipping through the parking lot like the Warner Brothers' cartoon character Taz © (the Tasmanian Devil).

Just to be a weather geek about it, the temperature was 31°F, but with the wind chill factor figured in, it felt like about 19°F (go check the wind chill chart).  I could have gotten a kite up in that stuff and I'm terrible at kite launching.


I realize it's my own fault for not checking the forecast and at least bringing the jacket as I left home, but dang.  I was incredibly appreciative that the heater is working in my car again.

Brr, Baby.

Only 32 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - *Heavy Sigh*

While the forecast is for the precipitation to end by no later than 8 PM this evening, it was forecast to be rain.  Guess what we're getting?  Hint - it ain't rain.  But, it's not completely snow, either.  It's rain (not freezing) and very wet snow combined, occasionally traveling back and forth between the two.  It's been in the 40s for a good part of the day, so whatever is coming down as snow is melting on contact with surfaces which had no snow on them.  For now, anyway.

I know we've had snow events back to back to back before.  But, my tolerance for them is a little thin this year, perhaps in part because we really haven't had much in the way of snow until this late in the season.  That and I'd like a break from shoveling that extends out more than a day.

Oh, did I mention my roof leaks?

Where's my heating pad?

Only 33 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - Solar Heating

I ended up having to shovel again yesterday because we did get a bit more after I shoveled at the (mostly) end of our snowstorm on Sunday.  I wasn't fully recovered from moving snow from point A to out-of-the-way Point B and, quite frankly, I was mentally tired of it, anyway.  I did something of a lazy job of clearing pathways.  I didn't completely clear away the snow because I knew that if I gave the sun and the above-freezing temperatures a chance, I wouldn't have to.  Mother Nature can clear away snow so much more efficiently than we can.

Today, my parking space out to the road down to bare ground and my flagstone pavers and steps were completely clean and dry.  It may take longer, but it's less physically demanding on muscles which have had enough already.

Oh, and that snowman I said I was going to make on Monday?  Nope, didn't happen.  Maybe next snowstorm, preferably next winter season.

Only 34 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring – Snowball Time

Although we're still getting a flurry or two, our latest storm has pretty much moved north and east of my area.  While we only got 5-6" this time, it was a heavier snow than the storm on Friday.  Shoveling was more of a workout and, while most of it's done, I didn't finish this time.  I still need to move the snow that's in front of the car and out to the road.  It's not really that much, but I just couldn't make myself move it after the plow had gone through.  It'll still be there tomorrow, although perhaps in need of some chunking as it solidifies in the below freezing temperatures tonight.

However, even though I was tired and just wanted to finish, I took the time to really, really test the pack-ability of those little flakes and made myself some frozen ammo.  Just one snowball that got thrown harmlessly at a tree.  I noticed my aim hasn't improved over the years.  I was never great in a snowball fight.  But, they also serve who stand there and make snowballs for someone else to throw.

When I get done with my shoveling chores tomorrow, I may have to make a snowman. Never good at those, either.  But sometimes, you just have to find the winter fun.

Only 36 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - What, Again?

Just when I'm starting to become less achy from shoveling Thursday's storm, here comes another one for Sunday.

Now, depending on which forecast you read, we're getting either 3-6 inches of snow or 5-10, both with a possible glaze of freezing rain and sleet in the mix. Personally, I like my forecast of 1-2 inches of snow with no ice. Mind you, my weather prediction isn't based on maps or studying weather patterns or even a gut instinct.

Just pure wishful thinking.

Only 37 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring – The Next Day Snow Shoveling Blues

The final total from our snowstorm was 9-10".  That's just an estimate.  I didn't feel like getting out the ruler and measuring.  Besides, there was so much blowing and drifting of the snow – it was snowing almost horizontally a few times – I would have been hard-pressed to find a true snow depth.  The top of the car I drive is probably the closest to it, but I just wanted to get the snow moved, not get nerdy.

So, I found my car, then dug out to the road, walked down and dug a path into my side yard to the heating fuel tank, then back up to the front door and in. Even though it was a fairly light snow, it was tiring work.  I did a quick check online on how much snow weighs, and it's about 15 pounds per cubic foot, give or take a pound depending on whether it's light and fluffy or wet and packable. So, doing the math (I can be nerdy post-shoveling), I was moving 10-15 pounds of regular snow with every shovelful I threw.  I say regular snow because the plowed ridge of dirt-laden snow at the edge of the road likely weighed more.  Still, not that much.  But, it's shifting that amount of weight over and over and over again. One of these times, I might remember to keep count of how many times my shovel digs and throws that white stuff, but I doubt it.

My muscles started to ache about an hour later and I woke to soreness this morning, soreness that will likely last into the weekend.

There was a time earlier in my life when I didn't mind this activity so much. Actually enjoyed it.  But as I approach 60, I'm not such a good sport about it anymore.  Oh, to be able to afford to hire someone for this task.

Only 38 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring – Brown Ground to White

Well, our nor-easter has arrived and they didn’t lie about the snowfall rates, although I think they might actually have underestimated a bit. When I went out around 5 AM, it was a dry snow and there was, at best, an inch on the ground. It’s now just after 7 AM as I type this and there is now 4-5” of snow.  It’s not as light and fluffy, either, although I wouldn’t call it classically packable yet.

I used a pushbroom to clear the way to and around my car at first.  It’s a choice I prefer over the snow shovel.  Can’t use that now.  Regardless of when this storm ends, it’s a shoveling thing from here on.

Oh, how I miss that dull brown ground view from my window right now.

Only 39 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring – The Snowy Threat Begins

A Winter Storm Warning has been issued for my area starting at midnight and going into the evening on Thursday.  Not that I think it’s going to be here that long.  It’s likely going to be snowed and done by early afternoon.  6-12”, depending on location and how the storm tracks, and at its supposed to be at its worst during the morning commute hours. 

Of course, there’s always the possibility it’ll track too far south and we won’t see a single flake.  I know, dream on.

Skiers and school kids rejoice!  The rest of us  …

Only 40 days until Spring

Countdown to Spring – A Brief Respite

Our morning of freezing precipitation didn’t get all that ugly.  Yes, we did have some, but not enough to make roads bad or schools close (they did delay a few hours, though). 

 

It’s supposed to warm into the 40s today and, even nicer, into the 50s tomorrow.  My heating bill will love it.  But then … yes, winter’s back on Thursday, with a little snow and a 20-degree drop in temperatures from the day before.  The 20s and 30s during the day and the teens during the night and for at least a week.

 

Yeah, I know, it could be much worse.  Let’s hope it doesn’t go there.

 

Only 41 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring - They're Scarin' Me

I was starting my coffee at 5:30 this morning and heard what I thought was one of the local garbage trucks making its way up the street.  I looked out the window and saw that it was one of the town's snowplows coming up the hill, turning around and heading back down.  We didn't have any precipitation last night.  The roads were dry and the temperature had stayed above freezing.  So, why were they making the rounds?

Tomorrow, we're under a winter weather advisory for expected snow, sleet and freezing rain in the morning.  It's supposed to turn to all rain by late morning, although the last time that was supposed to happen, we got about 2" of pure sleet, no snow or rain involved. No fun to drive on and even less fun to shovel (it's like 6" of wet snow in my book).

It should all be gone by Wednesday, as it's supposed to be in the 50s that day. But, the fact that they're coming around the day before to look for trouble spots in the sort of wee hours of the morning makes me wonder and I shouldn't wonder. Guess I'll be keeping an eye on the forecast - eww.

Only 42 days until Spring.

Countdown to Spring –The Beginning

For those who read this blog on any kind of regular basis, you know that I’ve done a countdown to spring in past years.  I usually start it on Groundhog’s Day.  I’m late this year – sue me.

So, here we are again, early into the month of February and at about the midpoint of the winter season.  So far, it hasn’t been too bad.  We’re a little light on the precipitation, but that’s not hurting my feelings.  I’ve come to a point in my life where shoveling multiple inches of that cold, wet, white stuff can be a hazard on multiple levels.  I like being able to just lean back and not worry about it and this season has mostly allowed me to do that.  Still, good snow melt equals good growing in the spring and summer, as well as reduced fire risk from overly dry conditions.  So, maybe a few more occasions of snow or rain, but not the stuff in between (sleet and freezing rain) ‘cause nobody wants to deal with that.

Then, there are the temperatures.  Yes, it’s still chilly, but it’s not been brutal – so far.  February is known for the coldest temperatures of winter in my area.  They may still happen, although the long range forecasts are saying otherwise.  I’ve never been a fan of weather that’s in the single numbers and teens during the day, so if it doesn’t happen at all this season, it won’t hurt my feelings.  It’s also kinder to my (and everyone else’s) heating budget, thank you.

In case you don’t follow Groundhog’s Day tradition, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow on February 2.  This means six more weeks of winter.  Not every groundhog polled for shadow sighting agreed.  Ms. G. in Massachusettts agreed with Phil.  However, Gen. Beauregard Lee in Georgia disagreed with his Pennsylvania counterpart, as did Shubenacadie Sam in Nova Scotia and Fred la Marmotte in Quebec, although I think those Canadian woodchucks were blinded by the same wishful thinking that I have.  Early spring would work for me and more than a few others.

Only 43 days until Spring.

Old Words

I received an e-mail today informing me that I was not chosen for a position that I was seeking.  Classic boilerplate rejection notice.  I didn’t mind – I’m accustomed to them.

A short time after that came a second e-mail from someone who was part of the group making the decision about who to hire for the position, a man brave enough to actually say why I wasn’t hired.  This is discouraged nowadays, of course.  People get insulted, upset, more discouraged than they already were, show up on your doorstep with an AK-47, etc.  Not my style.  I’m more inclined to learn where my weaknesses are from it and how I can improve myself.  In this case, however, I’m just not quite that inclined.

The first reason for my not being hired was that I wasn’t local to them.  The job, while not across country, was out of state and a three-hour drive from where I am now.  I said in my remote interview with them that I was more than willing to relocate and I was looking for a fresh start and a new challenge.  Problem was, they wanted someone to start immediately upon selection and that just wasn’t going to happen with someone who’s lived in the same place for, well, decades.  This reason for not being chosen I completely understood. 

They were very impressed with my ability to proofread/edit material.  I was told that, while I had no formal training – I guess those two online courses that I aced meant nothing – I had an excellent grasp of how to “smooth the edges and polish written material that wouldn’t offend the writer and make the material that much more readable across our general audience.”  I would dearly love to be able to put that comment somewhere in my LinkedIn resume and have this guy as a reference.  But, he who wrote it wasn’t supposed to be telling me anything from the decision-making  process. 

Which brings me to Reason #2.  While they loved my ability to edit, they didn’t like my ability to write.  It was too “old” and “nerdy.”  Now, I’ve run into both blunt and subtle forms of ageism in my job searching lately, and while such a reason seems like it fits into this inappropriate and illegal category, it’s actually something one can adapt to and learn from.  In this day in age, a good writer should be a wordsmithing chameleon, able to communicate in the language of audiences across many different types of readers. 

But, doesn’t writing that’s steered down the middle of a general audience do just that, or am I assuming too much of my writing style?

By the way, I am a nerd and I’m damn proud of it.

The one suggestion he made for improvement was to learn more about all the social media platforms, an admittedly weak area for me.  No, he didn’t suggest changing the way I write.  He liked it.  But then, he’s old and nerdy, too.

And so, I move on to the next job opportunity.  Although this position would have been a dream come true for me, it is perhaps for the best that I didn’t get it, being an old lady and all.  I guess the fresh start and new challenge outlook gets reserved for another time, place and job.  Until then, I am reminded of the words of Shakespeare:

This above all, to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
(Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3)

and Rick Nelson:

But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well.
You see, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself.
(Refrain from “Garden Party”)

Farewell.