Thursday, March 16, 2006

The consequence of action

This is dedicated to those who beat themselves into senseless pulps psychologically over things they’ve done that they’ve come to regret. What can I say but, right there with you.

Without going into detail, today held for me the right action for the right reason done in the wrong place at the wrong time. Heck, any other safety-minded person not aware of the equal and opposite effect of this conscientious act would likely have chosen the same course. Thing is, this correct act at the incorrect moment under slightly different circumstances would have turned very, very wrong, and the realization of this fact sent me briefly into a weeping tizzy.

Piqued your curiosity? Live with not knowing. That’s not what this is about. This is about playing the ‘what ifs’ and the ‘I should haves’ until those proverbial cows come home. I can do that. I’ve done it many times. I’m good at it. Regretted the choices made and not made, the roads taken and not taken. Oh, yeah, lots of practice. But, I’m learning the gentle art of letting go of things and, yes, even forgiving myself for some of it. Hey, I said was still learning.

You can berate yourself, hate yourself viciously (I think I’m channeling lyrics from “Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol”, for those who think they sound familiar), but it’s not going to change the outcome. That’s etched in history, with no way to undo it. You can live and relive the moments, playing them in your head over and over and over, or perhaps you’re more inclined to run different scenarios of the same event ad nauseum trying to get a better outcome. But, unless you’re an efficiency expert trying to prevent similar situations for future populations, please stop. You do have to think about those moments you’re not pleased with, but then realize that they’re done and move on. To let them run your existence is wrong. I know, easy to say, not always easy to do. But, the steps forward have to start somewhere. Make amends with others when possible. Fix what’s been broken if it can be fixed. Take a chance if a chance is needed, or stop taking chances if it’s all you do and it gets you nowhere. Above all, accept that it’s happened, learn from it and stop looking back at it. Hindsight isn’t always better.

Go live your life in a better way and put away those wrong moves for your memoirs.

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