To Return or Not to Return – Now, There's a Question

I did my FAFSA a short time ago and found that I was eligible to receive the maximum available for a Pell grant.  Not a surprise, since that was the result last year as well.  However, I had my sights set on going to SUNY New Paltz or Empire State College for a four-year degree back then and even the maximum federal and state grants didn't cover all the costs.  I would have needed to take out student loans and I didn't want to do that. 

With only casual curiosity, I looked at the tuition costs for SUNY Ulster and found that the Pell grant covered my tuition costs completely.  I've applied for NYSHESC (aka TAP) but won't know the results of that until after the state budget is passed sometime this month.  Chances are it will cover at least half the tuition costs, leaving me a surplus in Pell to pay for my books and extra fees.  This sort of blew my mind a bit and not just because I could go back to school at no cost.  It's more the realization that I could have gone back two years ago and been finished this year had I considered the possibility of another associate's degree instead of remaining focused on a baccalaureate degree from somewhere else.

As a result of this revelation, I applied to return to SUNY Ulster, but have not yet officially declared a program because I'm undecided.  Thing is, I'm not just undecided as to program.  I'm undecided as to whether I should go back at all.

I'm going to be 59 in less than a month.  I will likely finish up any program in 1½ years with full-time study.  That puts me at 60 or 61 when I graduate, leaving 4-5 years before likely retirement.  That's not even taking into consideration the possibility of earlier bowing out due to the health issues which are starting to reveal themselves.

I had put getting my second degree from SUNY Ulster, this time in business administration, on hold a long time ago because of work conflicts, then not having enough money to go back without putting myself deep in debt, then simply not having the motivation to hit the books again in a program I had no real interest in pursuing at the time. 

Given my existing educational track record from 30+ years ago as well as my continued love of learning, I'd still likely do well in something like business administration.  However, my passion would lean more toward  pursuing a potentially less marketable liberal arts program and honing my skills as a writer/journalist.  But, in terms of increased saleability and income, is either educational path worth the time and effort in a highly competitive job market that's geared more toward younger employees?  I've already run into ageism in my employment search and in my mind, it's hard to call as to whether a second associate's degree under my belt would improve my odds.  I've often said that my first associate's degree and 75¢ would get me a lousy cup of coffee, and I'm not sure that a second two-year degree would improve on that all that much.  Yet, I would encourage anyone under similar circumstances to try it anyway.  Double standard – go and figure. 

I would like the opportunity to complete a second degree just for the sake of completing it and knowing that I could.  Many people my age and older do this.  But should a so-called bucket list degree be obtained on the government's dime simply because it can be?  Do I really want my graduation speech to be, "Thanks, Uncle Sam, for letting me get the degree of my dreams even though it has no other purpose than decorating my wall, and I can die happy now?"  Quite honestly, I have an issue with that kind of thinking both from a personal as well as social point of view.  Granted, all degrees have the potential to assist in attaining greatness.  However, I think frivolous discretionary degrees should be pursued with personal discretionary funds, something I do not have.

The final element to consider is my ability to focus and retain, which has declined.  My mind is not the steel trap it used to be when I was last in college.  I've tried studying from books and the computer in the last few years for stuff that I genuinely wanted to learn (as opposed to mandatory classes that you read, regurgitate for a test and you're done) and it was nothing like it was even 10 years ago.  I'm not saying I can't learn, but I'm not sure about the time factor required to learn it and whether it can be done in the time allowed for PELL and TAP covered expenses.

Having made all the arguments, I am no closer to deciding one way or the other on returning to school in the fall.  I still have time to decide, but I think I need to hear the opinions of others on the subject before jumping back in or walking away from the shoreline of  the metaphorical Lake Academia, possibly for the last time.