Back Again

So, let's see.  I posted once and only once this year for my infamously inane "Countdown to Spring" series.  It was a year before that for the last post, also for that series.  As deconditioned as I became physically, especially in the last three months (thank you COVID-19), I became similarly out of shape creatively.  Not just in not posting anything here, but in general.  It wasn't that life got in the way, but more that I let it get in the way and let things slide.  There's always a reason to not do something that's good for you, right?  Too tired, too busy, too stressed and the biggee, too lazy.

Well, just as I started eating properly and exercising again, I'll start getting reacquainted with my creative side, both here and in general.  I don't have much of an audience for this blog anymore because I haven't been posting.  It's now mostly made up of spammers looking to hawk their product in the comments section.  Bad news for them, the comments section is moderated.  But maybe, with time, folks will come back.  We'll see.  Even if they don't, I'll still be writing here.

And to my muse, which likely took an extended vacation in idyllic locations that I always wanted to go to, it's time to punch the clock.

Happy New Year

Oh, gee, have we reached the new year?  Time flies.

Didn't write the third part of my "Moving Out and On" series, but I'm sure no one minded.  Haven't written anything since September and I'm sure few noticed.

I had a year of abrupt change and adapting to new situations.  Not calling it a bad year, as these changes were required on multiple levels.  But, my muse got tired of waiting as my writing, poetry, etc., took a back seat and the self-inflicted creative stifling (read writer's block) took over. 

But, the dust has pretty much settled on all things new in my life, and  I'm fairly sure things will be getting better here as a result. 

No self-applied pressure to achieve here – no, not much.

Yo, Muse – hit the time-clock.

Old Words

I received an e-mail today informing me that I was not chosen for a position that I was seeking.  Classic boilerplate rejection notice.  I didn’t mind – I’m accustomed to them.

A short time after that came a second e-mail from someone who was part of the group making the decision about who to hire for the position, a man brave enough to actually say why I wasn’t hired.  This is discouraged nowadays, of course.  People get insulted, upset, more discouraged than they already were, show up on your doorstep with an AK-47, etc.  Not my style.  I’m more inclined to learn where my weaknesses are from it and how I can improve myself.  In this case, however, I’m just not quite that inclined.

The first reason for my not being hired was that I wasn’t local to them.  The job, while not across country, was out of state and a three-hour drive from where I am now.  I said in my remote interview with them that I was more than willing to relocate and I was looking for a fresh start and a new challenge.  Problem was, they wanted someone to start immediately upon selection and that just wasn’t going to happen with someone who’s lived in the same place for, well, decades.  This reason for not being chosen I completely understood. 

They were very impressed with my ability to proofread/edit material.  I was told that, while I had no formal training – I guess those two online courses that I aced meant nothing – I had an excellent grasp of how to “smooth the edges and polish written material that wouldn’t offend the writer and make the material that much more readable across our general audience.”  I would dearly love to be able to put that comment somewhere in my LinkedIn resume and have this guy as a reference.  But, he who wrote it wasn’t supposed to be telling me anything from the decision-making  process. 

Which brings me to Reason #2.  While they loved my ability to edit, they didn’t like my ability to write.  It was too “old” and “nerdy.”  Now, I’ve run into both blunt and subtle forms of ageism in my job searching lately, and while such a reason seems like it fits into this inappropriate and illegal category, it’s actually something one can adapt to and learn from.  In this day in age, a good writer should be a wordsmithing chameleon, able to communicate in the language of audiences across many different types of readers. 

But, doesn’t writing that’s steered down the middle of a general audience do just that, or am I assuming too much of my writing style?

By the way, I am a nerd and I’m damn proud of it.

The one suggestion he made for improvement was to learn more about all the social media platforms, an admittedly weak area for me.  No, he didn’t suggest changing the way I write.  He liked it.  But then, he’s old and nerdy, too.

And so, I move on to the next job opportunity.  Although this position would have been a dream come true for me, it is perhaps for the best that I didn’t get it, being an old lady and all.  I guess the fresh start and new challenge outlook gets reserved for another time, place and job.  Until then, I am reminded of the words of Shakespeare:

This above all, to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
(Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3)

and Rick Nelson:

But it's all right now, I learned my lesson well.
You see, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself.
(Refrain from “Garden Party”)

Farewell.

Finishing What's Been Started

I was recently in touch online with someone who I hadn't spoken with in a few years.  We both were working on some pieces of fan-fiction -- "Doctor Who", for the curious -- and were critiquing each other's work.  Hers was a series of connected short stories, as though she was writing an entire season (that's series, for any U. K. readers who might be reading) for the show.  Mine was an opus magnum, a story requiring over 500 pages to be told.  Hey, if you read this blog on any kind of regular basis, you already know I'm long-winded. 

We fell out of touch due to a mutual waning interest in "Doctor Who" and real life taking more of our time and energy.  But, we still had a love of writing and asked about the work we both were working on back in 2008.  She said she discontinued her efforts on her project, falling short of her goal of 15 short stories by 3, in early 2009.  I finished mine, the final page count at 529, in mid-2009, although no one has read the story in its entirety and will never have the opportunity, either.

She was impressed I stuck with it.  I was, too, to be honest.  I began the work in 2003 and had stopped a few times, vowing never to go back to it, but always returning to it like an addiction.  I wondered why I was so obsessed with the silly thing.  It wasn't as though it was being written for money.  It certainly wasn't being written for pleasure, especially toward the end.  I kept telling myself it was for the challenge, but that wasn't it, either.

So, what was it?  It was to finish it, pure and simple.  There had been so many things I started writing and walked away from in the past, tossing paper or deleting files along the way once I realized I wasn't going back to them.  It was a pattern that had to be broken and this behemoth of crap fan-fiction was going to be the work that broke that lazy wordsmithing habit in me.  I got a very strong sense of satisfaction with finishing it, even though it immediately got offloaded from my computer and has never been looked at again.

R.I.P. "Time of the Season".

Since our last interaction, my friend and I have moved onto other work, other people in our lives, and other styles and genres of writing.  It was a good catch-up and is an e-friendship that will likely continue for quite some time.  "Doctor Who" has been left behind as the source of inspiration for both of us.  Much as I owe the series a debt of gratitude for being the muse to the work that made me finish what I started, I'm the one responsible for perpetuating that good habit since then.  Besides, my real muse hates competition.

This blog entry is dedicated to Ginny M. and our renewed friendship.  I look forward to reading more, more, more and wish you all the best for your final college year starting this fall.