My Secret Santa Secret

For the first time in a long time, I declined to join in on the office ritual of Secret Santa. I had the genuine excuse of not really having the finances this year to part with the money for a gift for someone who isn't family or a dear friend. But in fact, I don't like the whole concept of Secret Santa gift giving, have never liked it, and have some reasons for my dislike which I think are quite valid.

The first is that Secret Santa isn't. By whatever method is used, each person gets the name of another person in the office. It's then becomes a strategic guessing game to figure out who got who. Some will readily part with the information, especially if they can find out who got them in the process. Others will try to covet their person's name, but won't succeed. I always tried to be in the latter group. I could keep it a secret right up until the gifts had to be left out for the the big reveal, when the spies were at their most active. The office needs to know so that when the gifts are opened, they know exactly who gave WHAT to whom. Trust me, with about half the names and by process of elimination, someone other than the person officially keeping tabs will have it all figured out before the gift wrap comes off the boxes.

Then, there's the gift. Now, I've participated in Secret Santa where the person not only writes their name, but also a few suggestions for gift-giving that are within the allowed cost. But for the most part, I've been in ones when the gift was left up to gift-giver, to someone who doesn't know you and usually will go with the generic "one size fits most occasions" gift.  Most people are overwhelmed enough already by shopping for family and close friends.  The coworker that they rarely interact with may not necessarily be in line for that thoughtful gifting process after everything else is being said and done and I can understand that completely. 

The mentality of everyone should get a gift so they don't feel left out is for children and I'm not a child.  Quite frankly, I'd rather get nothing than a gift that only fills a work-social obligation.  Some would say that's harsh and potentially creates bad feelings in the workplace.  Perhaps, but I doubt it'll last much beyond the first day of the new year.

In case you want to call me a Scrooge or a Grinch for my terrible work gift attitude, hold off for a second.  Want to know where the money went that I didn't spend on a Secret Santa gift?  I didn't spend it on myself.  It got added to the money that I give every year to local charities, to places where I know it will do good things for people who need it more than I do.  It's a little better than giving or receiving another box of toiletries, a snow globe, a pen set, a scarf, or any number of other tchotchke that would only end up taking up space in a closet or other storage space, don't you think?

Shooting from the Hip

I was asked my opinion on guns earlier today. I normally don't talk about things that bring on heated debates, but I decided to make an exception just this once.

If people want to have a gun in their house or apartment for protection, that's their business.  But I am not among that group. I won't have a handgun, rifle, or any other weapon of calibered destruction in my home. I do not have what it takes to own and use one and I'm not sure every person who does owns one, especially those who carry a concealed weapon practically 24/7/365, truly comprehend all the implications of doing so.
They say if you aim a weapon, you should be prepared to fire it and if you're prepared to fire it, you should be prepared to kill with it. That's the thing. Everything changes when you pull the trigger and the person you aim at, whether they deserve it or not, dies. You have just become judge, jury and executioner in your decision and sometimes it's in the split-second. You can say they deserved it and justify it to yourself and others by whatever means. But, you just took a life and there is no taking it back. People say they can live with that, but I don't think as many who claim they can really can.

There is no amount of firewalling that will consistently keep weapons out of the hands of criminals who acquire them by any means, and also the hands of those of questionable mental health status when acting "normal" until you don't have to can be just that easy. Proponents say that the answer is to arm yourself, to create your own little detente with the rest of the world. But when the others you bear arms against are criminals and people of questionable sanity who also bear arms, somebody's going to fire first and it may not be you.

There is no simple answer to this problem in a land which has the right to bear arms written into its bill of rights. Yes, I'd like to see some tougher and better enforced gun control laws. The small arms proliferation in this country scares me. I don't want to take away anyone's rights, I just want to know that guns are in the hands of people who are really responsible for and with them 100% of the time and if that means that not everybody who wants to gets to carry a gun, so be it.

You can call me a dove, a peace monger, a tree-huggin' hippie. I will bear those labels with honor when it comes to my stance on this topic. Just don't mistake it for someone who won't fight back, 'cause I have and I will and I'm great at improvisation.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Seed companies are evil.

Okay, they're not really evil, but the marketing strategy of sending out next year's seed catalogue at the beginning of December preys upon the green-deprived consumer, aka me, to such a degree that the once under control withdrawal symptoms from seasonal plant growth loss blossomed once more, every pun intended.

Park Seed Company's catalogue was the first to arrive and it won't be the last. All the perfect little plants on every page, the flowers at their perkiest, the vegetables at their most perfect color and shape, the fruits at their ideal juicy ripeness. And that mini-greenhouse that calls me every year has been improved and is really starting to look like it might fit in my budget -- mmm, greenhouse.

No, no, no !! Evil !! E-vil, I say !!

Yet, I cannot look away because that just makes me look out at a brown and grey New York in December world. Those colorful 135 pages of seed and plant buying fun are calling me like a lover to the garden bed ... and didn't that just take me back to a piece of my life's story that will never be published here.

(*insert naughty giggle*)

I hope somebody's giving me a gift certificate for this place this year.

Evil.

The Seasonal Sneak Attack

It's snowing. It's snowed off and on today. First just a few flakes and then it gradually turned into real snow showers. It's lake effect snow, generated by northwest winds pulling moisture off the Great Lakes and depositing it downstate in the form of the dreaded hexagonal crystal structures where no two are alike. They're pretty, but not entirely expected or wanted for another few weeks.

But, they're starting to gather their forces. They come down separately now and don't linger. They're reconnaisance snowflakes, checking for the presence of snow tires on cars, readiness of plows and snow blowers, not to mention adequate amounts of salt and sand. They bring premature joy and hope to every kid looking to get out of class at least once this school year. They bring heavy sighs and shakes of heads from adults who have to deal with them.

They drop and then disappear. But they'll be back and they'll be bringing reinforcements. Their numbers will be counted by weather geeks like myself when they return, maybe not as individual flakes, but certainly the collective depth of their fallen frozen water bodies. They're snow -- be afraid.

Or grab a handful of them, compress them into a ball, take aim and fire. Embrace the season or linger in the depths of seasonal affective disorder until spring. Your choice.

*****************************************

And in a cross-referencing blog moment:

More winter silliness

The Pre-Black Friday Blues

And now, release the shoppers and let the Black Friday shopping begin!

Oh wait, they already did -- on Thanksgiving morning.

You know, I don't care that the store CEOs, etc. who made the executive decision for early Thanksgiving opening are calling it a trial run and that they won't do it again if it doesn't go well. They already know starting the holiday shopping frenzy on Thanksgiving is a successful sales boost gimmick because it's been happening for a few years now. They just decided to push the envelope and make a much deeper excursion into a day when their employees should be having some rest and relaxation away from the time clock. They claim to make it acceptable by only having the store open for a few hours in the morning, letting their workers go home for a few hours to family, friends, food and football, then having them return for the main event later in the day.

Greed fuels this decision. Greed for bargains by consumers, greed for profit by management/owners and stockholders. They say they need this extra advantage to stay ahead of the competition. But if other companies follow suit, as some are likely to, the advantage of this even earlier opening of the holiday gift hunting season will quickly be lost. Might as well just stay open 24/7/365, like L. L. Bean decided to do long ago.

I've made this argument before, that holidays are losing their meaning in the face of crass commercialism. Retail stores are not essential services like fire fighters, police and medical workers. Having no "down time" may help keep a business open and people employed, but the negative impact beyond the dollar signs is far from small in terms of what it does to family and community.

Capitalism may be the Great American Way, but at what price?

Promoting the Other Blog for a Good Cause

Usually, I'll promote this blog on my LiveJournal blog.  This time, it's the other way around. 

Thought for the Day - Scouting for Food 2012

I've blogged about the Scouting for Food event here previously.  It's still an annual effort near and dear to my heart and this is my online way of helping out. 

Night Skies

I used to look up in wonder
At the sparkly white things in the night sky
They were all stars, that place that was Heaven
And then time began to roll by

They became constellations, named for things that we knew
The bear, the scorpion, even someone’s belt
The learning had begun and the science was fun
But it was changing how I felt

To the child, they didn’t seem that far away
If I was tall enough, I could touch them
And counting them wasn’t easy, but it could be done
All the stars over my house in one big sum

But the adult now knows that they’re not close by
And they’re not just over my home
They’re all around us, everywhere
No matter where and how we roam

With the years, our universe gets bigger
With the years, our knowledge has grown
And we’ve learned that we’re miniscule compared to it all
And there’s still so much yet unknown

Yet I still look in wonder at the night sky
At the planets and suns I now know are there
And the novae and the quarks all disappear
To the child without knowledge or care

Lauren Swartzmiller
© 2012

Finishing What's Been Started

I was recently in touch online with someone who I hadn't spoken with in a few years.  We both were working on some pieces of fan-fiction -- "Doctor Who", for the curious -- and were critiquing each other's work.  Hers was a series of connected short stories, as though she was writing an entire season (that's series, for any U. K. readers who might be reading) for the show.  Mine was an opus magnum, a story requiring over 500 pages to be told.  Hey, if you read this blog on any kind of regular basis, you already know I'm long-winded. 

We fell out of touch due to a mutual waning interest in "Doctor Who" and real life taking more of our time and energy.  But, we still had a love of writing and asked about the work we both were working on back in 2008.  She said she discontinued her efforts on her project, falling short of her goal of 15 short stories by 3, in early 2009.  I finished mine, the final page count at 529, in mid-2009, although no one has read the story in its entirety and will never have the opportunity, either.

She was impressed I stuck with it.  I was, too, to be honest.  I began the work in 2003 and had stopped a few times, vowing never to go back to it, but always returning to it like an addiction.  I wondered why I was so obsessed with the silly thing.  It wasn't as though it was being written for money.  It certainly wasn't being written for pleasure, especially toward the end.  I kept telling myself it was for the challenge, but that wasn't it, either.

So, what was it?  It was to finish it, pure and simple.  There had been so many things I started writing and walked away from in the past, tossing paper or deleting files along the way once I realized I wasn't going back to them.  It was a pattern that had to be broken and this behemoth of crap fan-fiction was going to be the work that broke that lazy wordsmithing habit in me.  I got a very strong sense of satisfaction with finishing it, even though it immediately got offloaded from my computer and has never been looked at again.

R.I.P. "Time of the Season".

Since our last interaction, my friend and I have moved onto other work, other people in our lives, and other styles and genres of writing.  It was a good catch-up and is an e-friendship that will likely continue for quite some time.  "Doctor Who" has been left behind as the source of inspiration for both of us.  Much as I owe the series a debt of gratitude for being the muse to the work that made me finish what I started, I'm the one responsible for perpetuating that good habit since then.  Besides, my real muse hates competition.

This blog entry is dedicated to Ginny M. and our renewed friendship.  I look forward to reading more, more, more and wish you all the best for your final college year starting this fall.

Memorializing

Memorial Day is dying.  I don't mean to pun and I really hate to make the observation, but I honestly believe that the significance of it is slowly being lost in barbecues and pool opening parties.  This might be a good thing if we'd finally found a total and perpetual global peace and the reason to have the day was lost in time, but that's not the case.

We sort of did it to ourselves.  Memorial Day was on May 30th.  It was a day set by to remember those who had served in the armed services and sacrificed their lives protecting our country and everything we hold dear.  In 1968, someone decided that we needed the National Monday Holiday Act, which created a series of three day weekends from holidays being moved to a Monday in close proximity.  This created a block of days off for folks and supposedly caused a reduction of energy and resource use for three days in a row which was measurably better than shutting down for one day in the middle of the week.  They were saying that the holidays involved(Washington's Birthday, Memorial Day, Columbus Day, Veterans Day) were still significant, just not significant enough to leave where they were. 

We always celebrate Independence Day on July 4th.  We always celebrate Christmas on December 25th, giving this religious observance the reverence of a national holiday.  Thanksgiving was the first unfixed holiday, but it never had a set date, just a set day of the week in November.  New Year's Day, well, you can't really move the first day of the year just because it doesn't work for you.  Government offices are closed on all holidays, excluding essential services (police, fire, medical).  There was a time when everything was closed in observance of these days.  Some will say it's changed out of necessity as our society has evolved.  But really, it's gone the way of commerce, allowing the purchase of just about anything like the holiday wasn't even there and sadly, none of those important calendar dates is immune.

I digress.  Back to Memorial Day's imminent demise.  It's been moved out of convenience, shifted during a time in our history (1971) when we were still involved in the war in Vietnam and young men and women were still coming home in boxes.  It's been ignored by businesses that don't think profit-making should stop in the name of honor.  It's been disregarded by its own people because government and businesses don't care enough about it, so why should they?  It's a day off, a mini-vacation, the unofficial beginning of summer, an excuse to indulge in whatever calls.  It's been trampled and the group of people still involved in the respectful acknowledgment of the day seems to be getting smaller and smaller.

Does it really have to end this way?  Are we eventually going to forget to honor the memory of those in the military who gave their lives protecting all this country has to offer, even on the day put aside for just that purpose?  It's not as though we're in peacetime, Folks, when it's easier to put it to the back of our collective consciousness.  We're still fighting and the sacrificing continues on.  We need to remember and honor those who served.  Whether you do it on the legal holiday today or the original holiday date, make the time, take the time, and never, ever forget.

The New Grass-Eating Beast and Me

After 15-20 years of grass cutting service, I decided to give up on my mower.  While it always ran once it was repaired (beyond tune ups and oil changes), it was old, considerably rusted and has definitely had its share of issues since 2008.  I finally declared it not worth fixing one more time when, just exiting the gate for the first go-round of the mowing season, the pull cord broke.  Fixable?   Of course -- for about $90.  Fixable by the owner?  My knowledge of mowers doesn't extend much beyond pull safety bar to handle, pull starter cord, mow and don't reach under the machine while the blade is in motion.  They weren't teaching small engine repair to girls when I was in school and, much as I'm now a smart, independent woman capable of learning the task, I'm not really inclined to challenge the sexist notion of it being male territory to fix such things.  Me cook, Tarzan.  You make noisy grass-eating beast all better.

With the decision made to go to a brand spankin' new mower, it was time to do the research.  The nerd was now in her element.  Riding mowers were out outright.  There are parts of my yard which really should be dealt with by goats.  It may be small in size, but 'uneven' is a good choice of word to describe it.  So is 'hilly'.  "Mountainous terrain' is the best phrase when trying to mow it, though.  Much as my neighbors sometimes think their riding mowers are ATVs, they're not.  Going ass over (mower) teakettle down one of the slopes of my yard holds no appeal, especially if pinned under the mower immediately after the fall.  Uh, no.  Push mower it is.

In an uneven yard that is an experimental weed factory and isn't as regularly mowed as other people's plots of land, gas power is best.  The engines are able to deal with 6-8" crabgrass better than an electric or cordless type mower ever could.  Self-propelled mowers, either one speed or the nicer variable speed models which allow you to walk leisurely or practically jog while cutting grass, were wonderful to ponder and drool over, but they added $75 to $125 to the price every time, regardless of the brand.  Having the clippings bagged neatly behind the mower also sounded nice, but with my yard, it would mean several stops during the course of the mow to plunk the grass clump in some remote area of my yard to compost, likely an uphill walk.  Since mowing is already an aerobic chore that I can't stand, why do I want to add to it?  Besides. letting grass clippings lie where sliced off is actually good for the lawn, especially when one doesn't get out there and spread fertilizer and weed killer combos, which I don't.  I like an organically grown, biodiverse lawn -- that's my lazy yard maintenance statement and I'm sticking to it.

Honda, Toro, Troy-Bilt, Husqvarna, Lawn Boy, Lawn Machine and others all got my appraising look-over of online specs and reviews as well as longing looks and touches up close and personal at several stores.  There was also the  occasional whimper while looking at the price tag.  Yes, cost was also part of the equation.  If it wasn't, there was a Honda variable speed, self-propelled mower with my name on it. Yes, Honda won the battle of the mowers, but not the war.  In the end, I went back to the brand that had lasted all these years in my yard -- a Sears Craftsman.  Some may scoff and say there are better and I would agree.  But, with the exception of being self-propelled, it does everything I need for it to do -- and very well, I might add -- and was $200 less than its preferred cousin.

So, I begin the mowing season with a new grass cutter.  It may be noisy.  It may make me sweat to push it to all points of my property, up hill and down, that I wish to walk through without losing sight of my feet.  It may make me grimace to periodically clean out the green grass biomass that invitably develops under the beast when I wait too long between mowings.  It may make me cringe to keep it properly fed with gas and oil.  But now, I have a machine with no ills that will likely stay that way for at least a few seasons.  I have no excuse to not go forth and mow.

Wait, it's raining.  Aww, too bad.  Maybe tomorrow, grass-eating beast.

My Birthday Wish List

The sublime to the ridiculous and back again in a stream of consciousness fashion for the upcoming day.


1) A full time job, preferably with a pay scale that's more than minimum wage

2) A huge lottery win where a full time job becomes optional.

3) A roof that doesn't leak

4) A foundation that doesn't look like a map of the San Andreas fault

5) A cat that doesn't purr in my face and walk all over me at 4:30 in the morning to get breakfast

6) To find my keys - one set would be nice, two sets would be perfect

7) To write something that isn't ignored by those who write out checks for such things (rejection notices are better, honest -- at least I'd know someone's actually reading the stuff)

8) A lawn that wouldn't be bare if I doused it with weed killer

9) To be taken out to lunch

10) To be taken out to lunch by an intelligent man with a sense of humor who tickles my fancy

11) To have my fancy tickled in ways that would make this post need an adult content warning

12) To find a pair of pants in a local store in my size and the proper length

13) A house that cleans itself and STAYS that way

14) To have the money and energy to go back to school and get the four year degree in journalism that I've always secretly wanted

15) A solar/electric/gas hybrid car whose price tag wouldn't make my jaw drop and cause me to slink quietly back to my 15 year old blue auto beast

16) To be able to do 100 sit-ups and not have to pay the price for it the next day

17) To get a full night of unbroken sleep on a regular basis

18) To find an open kayak cheap and regularly use it

19) To find the perfect small house on several acres in the perfect countryside location and live there until my dying day, preferably with that fancy-ticklin' gentleman

20) To have good health and sound mind until my dying day

21) To have a world at peace, where all people love and respect one another and differences aren't met with anger and violence, where there is no war or famine, no want or need, and our planet is forever a healthy, viable and life-sustaining big blue marble as viewed from space.

I'd give up items #1-20 in a heartbeat to have #21.

Happy Birthday to me.

Being At Odds with Being Rich

Not too long ago, I posted, "Since when is the average multi-millionaire in touch with the public beyond his or her public relations team spin?"  It was a political discussion and considering my lack of love for political discussions, I don't know what prompted me to say anything, much less make a blanket statement that most multi-millionaires are fairly clueless when it comes to the issues the common folk are facing.  However, unless they started from nothing and then made a point to remain aware of where and what they came from, then perhaps that blanket statement isn't all that far from wrong.

There are those who might be offended by my 'one-size-fits-most' opinion of the rich.  Even I might be offended by it if I were among that minority of taxpayers whose assets total at least seven figures to the left of the decimal point.  New York Lottery has two slogans -- "A Dollar and a Dream" and "Hey, You Never Know".  I've had that dollar and that dream for a very long time and I've found New York Lottery to be right -- I never know and will likely not ever know that jaw-dropping moment of winning so big.  I can't see myself with that kind of money in my lifetime and I'm at peace with that.  Sort of.

There is so much that can be done to help others once the taxes are paid and the basics are taken care of.  I want to be safe and happy and I don't require a mansion, a luxury car, and all the toys to reach those simple goals.  I can even hear myself starting to sound a little like Dolly Levy (of "Hello, Dolly" fame) when I say that money is like manure and it can't do a thing unless it's spread around and  encouraging things to grow. 

However, history has shown that money can also change a person and not necessarily for the better.  Money is power and power corrupts.  I like to think I'm better than that, but it's easy to say that down here in the trenches.  Can I really remain true to my ideals after crawling or being catapulted out?  The answer is, I believe so, but I really won't know until I get there.

That brings us back to the first paragraph where I ask if millionaires can know the problems the public is facing day-to-day without remembering where they started and remaining in touch with those roots, as less than perfect and as they might have been.  I am truly happy for those who succeed. I am genuinely joyous for those who strike it rich.  But the ones I give a continued approving nod to are the ones who know and care from the heart about the world around them.

Words to live rich by, and that includes me.  If the miracle should happen and I find myself among the nouveau riche, someone please remind me of my words today and regularly.  Thank you.

Funny, Cryptic, Thought-Provoking All Rolled into One

This is going to be a short entry.  The land of dreams has been very productive for me lately.  But, I really love the stuff that comes to me as I'm waking, when I'm in between true dreaming and the state of consciousness that exists before the first cup of coffee. 

This morning was a one-liner, a bit of absurd humor said by no one in particular that made me giggle.  Yet it also made me wonder what it truly meant in the scheme of my presently changing existence.  Ponder for a moment and move on:

"Your desk is your destiny.  It is your deskiny."

What did I tell you?  Absurd, and yet ....

Some Leap Year Birthday Silliness

Happy Birthday, Mr. Rhoades.  Congratulations on making your "13th".

Per your request.  Enjoy.

Are You Sure You Want a 7-Lane Walkway?

I recently read they’re considering converting the 56-year-old Tappan Zee Bridge to a walkway structure once a new bridge has been constructed next to it. It would be similar in function to the Walkway Over the Hudson located just north of the Mid-Hudson Bridge. It would handle walking and biking traffic only and would be both a “green” and healthy method of getting from one side of the river to the other, as well as a commercial entity, encouraging tourists to travel the three miles long pedestrian span, partake of goods and services available along the way, and just enjoy the scenery that is the majestic Hudson River and its surrounding valley in the Westchester and Rockland County areas.

This started out as a suggestion that became a bandwagon which many have climbed onto willingly and without much hesitation. Even I was smitten by the concept of recycling rather than demolishing the older Tappan Zee Bridge once the new one is in place and handling traffic. I could see that it would be considerably cheaper to maintain it as a walkway rather than spend the $50 million a year it now costs to service and repair it as a fully functional bridge. I was even persuaded by the argument of why demolish the bridge at a whopping cost of $150 million when you can have it continue to be enjoyed by walkers and bikers for years to come at a considerably lower price tag. Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? Hmm.

The Walkway over the Hudson didn’t become a viable crossway overnight. There were costs involved to convert it from unused train trestle to walkway, and the ribbon cutting ceremony for it was came about a year after the actual physical efforts began. A Tappan Zee walkway will require the same, if not more, startup time.  The initial cost outlay to make it walker-friendly along its full length, as well as the conversion of the bridge and its embarking points near Tarrytown and Nyack to something that is also visitor-friendly will likely be more than for its one-mile counterpart 42 miles upstream. 

I also wonder about those lower annual maintenance costs which have been touted. Granted that as a footbridge, the stresses would be considerably less than the constant pounding the TZB gets now from cars and trucks. However, the bridge is over 50 years old and its structural integrity has come into question. It may continue to be viable for another 50 years, but just what it will take on a yearly basis in the future to prevent its slow or rapid crack and crumble into the Hudson River can only be estimated, and catastrophic failure from the unseen cannot be predicted.

Then there’s the demolition cost, that $150 million that makes jaws drop and minds dream of a better (and cheaper) solution. There are two things about that whopping price tag. The first is that it represents only about 1-2% of the total cost of putting up the new bridge beside it, presently estimated at over $5 billion. The second is that the cost of tearing it down is a one-shot deal. Yes, it’s a chunk of money, but once it’s done, the cost goes away. The cost to maintain the bridge as either a regular motor vehicle crossing or a walkway will continue and will inevitably rise like the tide that comes in under it. The cost for that work will also come out of the taxpayers’ pockets one way or another.

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m a strong advocate of the preserving and reinventing of all things that lend themselves to such an effort and would dearly love to see the Governor Malcolm Wilson Tappan Zee Bridge, which is only two years older than I am, continue to serve the public for which it was built. Finished construction of the new bridge is still a few years down the road from reality, so talk of what to do with “the old one”, as well as strongly coming down for or against its use as a walkway is premature. I will continue to watch as research is done regarding any continued use of the bridge presently in place. If converting it to a public footpath that lets people continue to use it and also brings in significantly increased revenue to the localities surrounding it can really be done without much fuss, muss and future money being poured into it, then point me in the direction of the bandwagon and I will happily jump on.

The Carefree Days of Income Tax Refunds

I always used to do my own income taxes. I still can. I was born with an ability to read instructions and do the math. Nowadays, though, I file electronically through one of the large income tax preparation companies. The reason for this is that it takes longer to process the paper through the system than it does to process the electronic return.


That being said, I'm one of the happy people who generally gets a refund rather than break even or have to pay more into the system. In my lifetime so far, I've only had to pay in twice and I'm quite content with that.

Then, there's the lament. In earlier days, I used to get to "play" with my refund. Buy optional stuff, do frivolous things, be happy in the return of my money that the government's gotten to play with for a year before giving it back to me. Younger, simpler times. Now, it goes to paying bills and buying groceries. Breathing space in my a heating fuel consumption winter weary world.

I'll take it, of course, but I'd really like to buy something more silly than an organizer for my bills and receipts for the new year with it.